Virgo
Had we but world enough and time, This coyness, lady, were no crime. We would sit down, and think which way To walk, and pass our long love's day.
Andrew Marvell
The thing you are afraid to want is the same thing you have been preparing for without admitting it. You keep saying you are not ready, but the real fear is that you might be more ready than you think, and readiness would require you to stop the careful work of getting ready. The hours you spend researching, planning, gathering the right tools are not preparation anymore. They are the thing itself, the daily practice of caring for something that exists only in your attention. What feels like fear of failure is actually fear of discovering that the work you love most happens in the space before you begin.