Scorpio

... she had painted her lips and was holding in her hollowed hands a beautiful, banal, Eden-red apple.

Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

The responsibilities you have taken on without anyone asking you to take them on are the ones that reveal what you cannot bear to watch go undone. You stepped in because stepping in felt less frightening than watching the thing fall apart, and now you are holding something that was never meant to be held by one person alone. The weight of it has become familiar, almost comfortable, because managing it means you know where it is at all times. What started as stepping up has become a kind of stewardship that no one else can see and that you cannot quite put down.

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