Sagittarius
Instead of possibilities, I have realities in my past, not only the reality of work done and of love loved, but of sufferings bravely suffered. These sufferings are even the things of which I am most proud, though these are things which cannot inspire envy.
Viktor E. Frankl
The money question that keeps coming back is not really about the numbers you have been calculating. You have been treating it like a math problem when it is actually a question about what you think you deserve to want. Each time you run the figures, you arrive at the same reasonable answer, and each time that answer sits wrong with you for reasons you cannot name. What you call practical concerns are often the socially acceptable way to avoid admitting that you want something you are not sure you are allowed to want. The real question is not whether you can afford it, but whether you can afford to keep pretending you do not want it.