Gemini

The thing you are afraid to want is the same thing you have been quietly preparing for without admitting it. You practice different versions of yourself in different rooms, testing which voice sounds right when you talk about the work that matters to you. With some people you mention it as a maybe, with others as a distant dream, with a few as something you might actually try. Each version is true and none of them is complete. The fear and the wanting are the same muscle, just flexed in opposite directions.