Cancer

The thing you keep doing when you feel uncertain is not actually helping the way you think it is. You can see this now because it has happened enough times to form a shape: the same response to the same feeling, producing the same outcome you were trying to avoid. What looked like care was actually you reaching for something you cannot hold in place by reaching. The repetition is showing you the difference between responding to what someone needs and responding to what you need them to need. This is useful information, and it only arrives through the doing it wrong enough times to recognize the pattern.